Monday, February 25, 2008

Friends...

别人都说我有很多朋友。有时候在街上我常常遇到很多朋友。而且有好几位朋友曾经告诉我他们很羡慕我有那么多朋友。比如说我的MSN list 比他们多, 存在电话的contact list 也不少。但。。。当我真正要找一个人帮我的时候,我竟然遇到困难。我找了很多人但全部都不肯帮我。就算那只是一件很小的事情,我的好友都拒绝我。我突然觉得自己很失败叻,感到很寂寞,超伤心了。难到他们已经忘了我平时怎样用心去帮他们吗?做人不该将的叻,我们应该要感谢和报答别人对我们的恩惠嘛。也许。。。你们已经把它忘掉了?平时你们常常和我聊天,开玩笑和谈心事。我以为你们真的是我朋友,但原来我错了,全都错了。真正的朋友不仅会跟我聊天,而且还会和我分享喜乐和悲伤。所谓“有福同享有难同党”已经不存在了。在世界上还有几多个人有这样的想法呢?
{对不起,朋友。如果你是那些“朋友”的话,我抱歉,我怕我不懂如何再成为你朋友了。}

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tiring skewl~

*sigh*
LoL I guess it will be a shorrrrt post today, just to talk bout something I kept in my heart. So here it goes..

02 19 & 02 20 08”
Really tiring these two days, and I have not enough sleep T_T. And bout the job, sigh at first I don’t wish to mention, but hehe just to share something with you here. [P/S: Spell, don’t cry arh, it’s not that cham anyway]. So these two days I skipped classes just to accomplish my job of … [you should know larh, I don’t wish to tell =X]. And on 02 19 I got complained for many reasons. And they told me, “You should appreciate this golden opportunity because not everyone has the chance like you do. So do your job better please”. Erm I think it’s something like that gua, coz’ it’s translation from Chinese. After listening to this, I feel like I am not doing well, at least not until the quality that they want. Sometimes I feel like it’s their fault for commenting us while they are doing the same like us. However, I feel like I am partly wrong too for not taking this job seriously. Honestly, I enjoy this job [I have interest in it lotz] but not enjoying to work with them. Sigh, anyway I knew I just gotta get used to it and mix with them well, to ensure that I enjoyed my job as well as these friends.
Attention, I am not complaining bout anything on this, and please DO NOT make any silly rumours on it and say something that I actually never mention at all. I have got enough of this, and I hate it. I mean it, really.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

So this is actually an old post
I typed it halfway on 02 15 2008, but cant finish..so now continue ba…
~[A summary of these few days’ happenings]~

Yesterday, (02 14 2008) it was a Val-dae. Well to single people like me, it is more like friendship day to me. I received small gifts from some friends, and a card that really meaningful. My friend wrote ‘每一个人都会犯错而失去一些自己所珍惜的东西,你也不会例外。。。问题是你有勇气去抢回吗?一个“宝藏” (幸福) 就在你的前面方向你要有勇气去拿到“它”!’
Yea it really made a great difference before, when I was unsure whether to let go or not. But now everything had passed and his sentence did made me felt bit regretted for letting go. Anyway, I did had a nice V-dae because after all it was not meant for couples only. The main point is whether we enjoyed it or not, no matter with who. But for the person who wanted to be with me on this particular day, I was sorry because…well you shall know the reason. If you were to tell me that your V-dae was cham because you were lonely, then I was sorry to tell you that this day is not a big deal, being with friends was great too, somehow sometimes better than being couples. =] that’s what I am experiencing now.

Today, (02 15 2008) it is a tiring Friday. As usual I went to school and meeting. After that went to Vivian’s house to do ‘project’ xD. What a lame experiment we did, somemore with three strangers together with us. One of them is her neighbour, and the other two are his friends. They helped us to make the dough and almost everything [great thankz to them?] BUT they also messed up everything and made the whole ME full of flour =.=” Kinda enjoying and finally succeeded to make the thing we needed =D [thumbs up!]

But… I received a sms from someone, asking me what’s the relationship between me and MR. J***** [why are there so many J***** walking in the path of my life?]. =.=” I was thinking, ‘Huh, me and him? Friends larh, abuden what else u want?’ This person soon told me that he might argue with his gf if he and I kept chatting frequently. My first reaction was, ‘what the?? Why is his relationship with the girl related to me?’ I finally understood that he thought I liked him [wad the?!] and I was the one who was going to ruin their relationship soon. Oh my, why me? He is the one who took the first move to sms with me, takkan I don’t reply him meh =.=” and I wonder why people think that couples should not be close with anyone of opposite sex. And the thing that hurts me most is that why these friends also have such thinking towards me? Really disappointed in them and myself. Now, hope it doesn’t affect our friendship as well as their relationship.

02 16 2008
I was told that they knew that I have had a new target. But I was still blur blur, since when I have one? =.=” I don’t know from where they heard bout this, and does this news actually pass from or to him? I really don’t know, sigh.. if he really thought that I have had a new target, then just continue assuming that it is ba.. It is not important for him anymore. And as for me, I just don’t wish to get involved in this kind of thing yet, hoping that I could control myself from him. –still forgiving and forgetting-

the escape~

The Escape

Run, run, running away
From all the crucial pain and sorrow
From things that I don’t wish to know
And my fear of what comes tomorrow

Run, run, running away
From things that drive me crazy in the world
From the worries of what the future might hold
And the wound in my tortured soul

Run, run, running away
From the all the guilt and mistakes in me
From the undesirable past that haunts me
And all the pain I keep inside of me

But now
I must stop running
Because when it comes to matters of the heart
No matter where we go
No matter how far we run
The decision is up to us
Do we really want to change?
Or stay forever as we are?

-FiSh-

Monday, February 11, 2008

02 11 2008

It’s already the fifth day of CNY. And finally I have a whole day to rest and relax at home. *sigh* feel like it had been days I haven’t been home, because everyday I went out early and back almost at night, then out again for dinner, then came home and played cards and slept. Today, I can finally have my own sweet time to face the computer for blogging [yeapz!! That became my fave^^]

{1st dae}Nothing special happened. Every year, on this very same day, I would go to my uncle’s house with my family at Klang after visiting the temples early in the morning. And this year we visited his new penthouse [he shifted not long ago], and it’s a nice thing except for the hot weather there.

{2nd dae} Went back to my hometown early in the morning again. Ate the same breakfast --- wantan mee at hometown again. Coincidentally, I met Yenki near the market, finally I knew that she had the same hometown as mine. Soon we went to the only and one temple there, then straight back to the house. After waiting for 3 hours, finally everyone arrived and chit chatted around. 16 people cramped in the house, wow feeling so ‘warm’ =.=|| Met my 表哥s, my first reaction was “wah why so leng zai liao de..” >.< after having lunch, everyone went back to the house and continued chatting. As usual, cousins would never chat with cousins, because we barely know each other. Plus most of them spoke Chinese and Hakka, but me..*sigh* only know Cantonese lerh T_T.

{3rd dae} Went to Times Square with Kritz, Fungsoon, Yonghan and Keiyan [where are the others?ffk lorh =.=||. We took LRT to hubby’s house, [p/s: long time no see, your skin is getting whiter than me soon!!] After visiting aunties in his house, we went to Times Square. Considered early to reach there, we bought the movie tickets of CJ7 and Kungfu Dunk. Bought a present for someone’s birthday, and it indeed costed me a lot. Aiks, too bad larh, who say me to have such close friend lerh.. At the same shop, Keiyan and I tried a ‘couple’ clothes [LOL so-called couple larh, since it came in the same design but different color], and snapped photos ‘there’ [Guess where? Fitting room larh of course >.<] And we made the guys waited for us so long that they complained after that, even on the next day. We just simply told them that we took naked photos inside xD xD, just not to allow them to see the pictures. CJ7 and Kungfu Dunk were both nice =D, rating: 4/5. Loveeee jayyychouuuu and 长江一号 [soooo cute!!!]

{4th dae} The happiest day of all. Went to 拜年 at friends’ house. Our first destination was Fungsoon’s house. Nothing much changed in his house after a year =X. And we getta snapped photo with his mum [LOL 她不会介意的]. Next, we went to Yonghan’s house before Derek’s one. So Derek invited many people to his house including me, Keiyan, Yanhui, Yonghan, Fungsoon, Choongwei, Kuanhaur, Weihsiang, Jiameng, Jianhong, Justinkan and his bro, and not to forget my beloved ex-tuitionmate, Stefanie. Missed her so much, I think it had been a year I didn’t meet her until yesterday^^. And meeting this guy from MBS was great too. In his luxurious house xD, we played cards and mahjong. !!! I finally learnt how to play mahjong [abit larh, not pro yet =X =X]. Then we ate Pizza, and snapped photos. Despite Hsiang won a lot from us, he has had to cheng us eat cendol =X =X. After eating, we went to Soonyuen’s and Jianhong’s house. On the way, I met Yenki [again LOL] and my beloved Standard 1 bestie, Amy!!! We hugged and chatted awhile [paiseh larh, others were waiting for me to continue walking to Soonyuen’s house]. But too bad, we didn’t snap photos T_T. Sad.. Meeting two great pianist in a day is really nice =D. Soonyuen’s and Sweeyeng darling’s piano skills are really geng^^LOL. Finally, we reached Khengyang’s house that was our final destination xD. There was nothing much to do in his house besides seeing his old photographs and mapling. Reached home at 6 something, then went out again for dinner and visiting relatives.

{5th dae} Todae? Hahaz staying at home online the whole day =D. Someone had asked me out to watch movie with him, and he kept dropping hints to give us a chance to start a relationship. I knew he is someone who falls in love easily whenever girls get close with him. I knew what would happen between us if we were really couple. I could only be his best friend always, sorry. I knew I still could not forgive and forget the old ‘him’. I knew he already had someone with him and planned for his Val dae, but I just couldn’t let go of him. At least not too soon.

{{still forgiving and forgetting}} 3.38pm

" 你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经
太美的承诺因为太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明 "
I think this is correct gua..just to let you understand…
对不起,我不想让你和我失望。

Monday, February 4, 2008

cny

04 02 2008

There's only another day of schooling before the one-week-holiday. Well, it is not precise to say 'holiday' because I couldn't even get a rest in this following week. It's almost time to do the following things:
-Get up early (as usual larh = =)
-Visit temples (still feel sleepy at that time)
-Visit uncle's house (Wee..his new house)
-Back to my hometown (a day nia..hope to not meet any friends there)
-Hang out with buddies (hope it's a lovely one)
-Celebrate birthday for 'you' ^^
-Bai nian (gette meet them again)

[This is how I spend my whole week??]
Erm what else arh.. After all, getting red packets is not the first thing I look forward during CNY. Hehes, because there is always something more important =].
However...
CNY isn't that great after all due to loads of homework, homework and homeork. How am I supposed to enjoy myself when my heart is burdened with lots of homework? T_T huh..just let my mind focus on one single thing --- enjoy this non-school day with a calm heart and soul ~[still forgiving and forgetting]~

Saturday, February 2, 2008

In the car, I was looking out from the windows. Suddenly, I saw a familiar image which I longed to see in my heart. I saw the blur blur look that always appear in his face [again]. From far, I could observe him walking towards the place he visited most of the time =.=". However, he couldn't see me because it was quite a distance between me and him. Looking at him, many things between us flashed in my mind all in a sudden. I never wished to think about all these anymore as it was the past, but I couldn't help. Soon, I received a sms from a friend telling me that he saw 'him' at there also. At that particular moment, I knew that the person I saw is really him. Anyway I could only say that I am glad to see and know that he is fine now. Perhaps I need not to think anything bout him, because forgiving and forgetting are more important. Since everything is unreversible, why do I force to flash back again?

Anyway, Happy CNY ba...
[Thanks for your support of reading my blog always, Spell. I love u ^^]

-FiSh- 02 02 2008 || 8.25pm

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