Friday, May 30, 2008

得到不一定能长久,
失去不一定不再有。。。


日子平凡地过,
时间慢慢地过,
现在不知不觉地过,
我心里还藏了一个秘密,
一个不能说的秘密,
我不敢说出来,因为我怕我会伤害别人,
我怕某人会将我的秘密告诉别人,
当别人知道了之后,
这会对你我有很大的影响,
我更因我怕受伤,
所以就不敢接受现实,
是,我承认我太自私了。

昨天我收到你的信息。
这是你第一次发给我的华语信息,
第一封那么长的华语信息。
你突然说你相通了,
你说你做错了许多东西,
你说你从来都没有体谅我,
你说你常常为了小事和我吵架,
你说你常让我难过伤心,
你说你不会是个好男友。

但我想告诉你,
你错了。。。
我不是对你彻底地失望,
而是我到现在都依然没有勇气把事实告诉你,
其实我一直都在欺骗自己,
我想了又想,
如果我把这个秘密告诉了他,
他会有什么反应呢?
如果我把这个秘密告诉了你,
你又会怎样做,怎样想我呢?
我们是否能改变现实呢?
我知道我的决定对你我来说都不公平,
责任不该是我留下的理由,
更加重要的是我不该再欺骗我自己,
无论我怎样说服我自己,
我还是需要一个实实在在的理由,
让我能够认真地想一想,
我的决定还是对的吗?
。。。我该怎样做呢?

Broken ♂

Today I have nothing better to do than to stay at home, just take it as the best day to take a rest at home ba.. So I decided to clean up my closet, coz’ these days I have been buying and buying clothes until I have no time to even have a look at my closet now- to decide which to donate, which to keep… And…I saw a piece of clothes of mine, white and pink--- this is what I call it sweet. I remembered when was the last time I wore it, hmm it was months ago--- last year. I remembered clearly what happened that day--- the first day I spent with someone special. I always thought of the happiness we had together, but I just didn’t realize that being with you wasn’t that great after all, we had sadness together, and you almost caused me to burst into tears. However I just put aside that sadness, because I only want the happiness to stay forever in my memories… I very much regretted for the past...


*** Due to some complaints, I enlarged the font in this post. I can't really enlarge the font in the template because it causes the entire blog to look odd =.=" sorry again

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

05 28 2008~
其实还爱你。。。

To my horror, holiday suddenly becomes a tuition week [for next week]. Reason? Monday I will be having a whole day of tuition class replacement for Saturday that is the birthday of YDPA. =.=” then Wednesday there will be another replacement for Accounts class, because the teacher is not free on our usual Sunday class. Then Thursday I have to go visiting my uncle in Klang, but not too bad because I will have chance to do my shopping at the Klang Parade or Jusco there. Friday I won’t be free too, due to some reasons.

Hmm… So I only left few days for myself. And the regrets I have during this holiday are:
1. I will have no movie marathon because I can’t find a single person who will actually watch Narnia, Indiana Jones, KungFu Panda, Someone Behind You and IronMan with me.
2. No going to Book Fest, because there is only a few days left and nobody could spare time for me in search of great books there.
3. No sing k, perhaps? Because I am only free during this coming Friday, next Tuesday and Saturday.
4. T_T no more vacation to great places
5. No beach for summer

{{{ Aww…who can grant all my wishes? }}}

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Diary again```

05 27 2008~
HaPPy BirthDay, Siew Li~ and Snoopy Monitor [05 28 08]…


Wee~~ Just back from cruise trip yesterday, but now only I have time to relax and sit in front of my laptop to take a break. So… it was a great trip, although I didn’t go with my entire family, but going with neighbours was nice too. The cruise was not as big as the previous one I went to, unlike those Superstar Cruise, but it was still great… During dinner, we had buffet and… I ate dessert more than main course… Fondue [that’s the proper spelling actually], ice cream, cakes, and all sort of sweeeeeeet stuff~ I luv’ it lotz… Then..we went to the upper part of the ship and it was just great to take a breeze at the corridor, watching stars and moon at night. Well, I guessed I have gained weight for eating so many wonderful cuisines from various places during the trip. But too bad, there was no sushi for me, =( how sad.. >.<

I love this piece of almond cheese cake...

Nice, sweet desserts... !! Enjoy it~

This is the one... but it's the model nia..

Trying to look like a ghost LOL

I love this..thou' it seems fake =.=

***
And today.. I went to see doctor with Mum. A skin specialist, I had to go for today. Why? Well, because you can always see that there are few red spots on one of my toe. And Mum insisted to bring me for specialist check-ups. So there I was, at Pudu, meeting this weirdo--- a weird specialist.

Dr. Chow: Ohh hiii, have a sit, my dear…
MuM & I: *smile* thanks
Dr. Chow: So.. this is your youngest daughter?
*pause*
Dr. Chow: You have three children right?
Mum: Err, nope… I have two children…
Dr. Chow: Oh ya, I must have remembered wrongly. So you have a son and a daughter right?
Mum: Nono, I have two daughters.
Dr. Chow: Oh so how is your elder daughter? How’s she doing?
Mum: Well, still fine.. *smile*..

Firstly, I have no idea who he is. This is our first time going into this clinic, approaching this doctor. And how can someone creates such conversation when he actually didn’t meet us before? LOL weird…

Friday, May 23, 2008

我决定了。。。

05 23 2008~
Went to school today with my friend. I think there were only 8 person of my class came to school today. It was Teacher’s Day Celebration, and my job was always the same--- taking photographs with 1 senior and 2 juniors. Feeling tired now, because I have had to walk here and there all the way to snap pictures [sounds like paparazzi LOL]. When I squad down, I accidentally hurt my knee T_T how unlucky… There were speeches, prize-giving ceremony, games and lots more. I kinda enjoyed myself for taking photographs of c.u.t.e teachers and funny scenes. Then met Chun Hoe also, chatted with him and kinda caught up with how’s he doing these days. Now I wonder why didn’t I see him in the carnival of Saujana that day, aiks. I also got my Physics Paper 1, kinda relieved to see my result for Paper 1 ONLY, because she hasn’t finished marking Paper 2 yet. So holiday starts at the moment I came home from school, and my day today is boring, I know, because I have nothing better to do than to blog here and print exhibition stuff for the I..U. Day. I need help from people for this exhibition thing, but I don’t think there are plenty who are willing to help, so never mind I think I can still handle it myself if I work more hardworking in these two weeks. And does anyone here have any idea on where to find Mexican hat and masks? Preferably cheap, nice and easily available. It was really hard to find…

Attention to 4Gs,
There will be a Biology extra class on next Monday and Tuesday at 8.00am to 9.30am. The purpose Mr. Ariff wants to held this extra class is to--- “kejar syllabus”. Maklumlah he managed to teach until Chapter3 only now. Please bring along your Biology note book and your own reference book if possible. He will teach Chapter 4. And…if there is time left, he might want to extend the class until 10.00am. So, hopefully 4Gs can support him and attend his class =D

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sigh*

I lost my way…
I don’t know if I should hold on or to let go…
Things are getting unhappy these days but I believe whatever matter can be solved in sorts of ways IF we work for it…
And as for me,
I think I am people who hate working on something that I don’t really wish or hope for right now…
Can you imagine it that in just two months, things happened and changed and now got worse? I am impatient, I have had to admit it.
Time is not everything to you, but to me it is.
I hardly have time for leisure, because I do have loads of jobs to do these days even after exam. For example, tomorrow I have to stay in the library for the whole day to handle those pelatih ‘exam’, and to tidy up the entire place. But I think I will enjoy it, I will have a great time there tomorrow =D, and you might complain AGAIN that I won’t have time for you or whatsoever. Then next, there will be an Interact Meeting regarding to I.U. Day, and I haven’t even prepare a single piece of my work to be checked tomorrow T_T.
I am not giving up, but I have had to settle everything with me first.
I decide that this comes first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean that you are not important. I was sort of shocked when you confronted me in the morning today, I did not know how to respond. Was it entirely my fault? Or did you have to apologize after everything is irreversible?
{{{有时候不是我不在乎你,而是你把我看得太重了}}}

Monday, May 19, 2008

05 19 2008~

This few days…
Went out early in the morning and back at night..
Besides going tuition, I had family outing almost everyday continuously…
Bought liao a lot of stuff, [how can I don’t buy a thing whenever I go shopping?]
Including shirt, skirt, NO pants [I hate it], and even phone..
Yea now using it liao, at first my aunt wanna buy a new phone then I recommended her this model, finally she can’t make any decision and my dad ended up buying it for me LOLz. How lucky..
>.<
Cut my hair liao, doesn’t look much difference except for the front hair which looks so ‘mushroom’ T_T, bit uneasy when it is not long anymore..but better to cut than to be caught by prefects and discipline teachers gua…
Later…going out again, OMG almost forgotten that tomorrow I will still have another paper of exam, lalala~ forget it and enjoy the present ba xD xD… don’t feel like going to school actually. Wanna ponteng on this Friday due to some celebration in school, but too bad still have to go to snap photographs for Sidang T_T…

Saturday, May 17, 2008

05 17 2008~

At times, I don’t enjoy sharing many of my stuffs to people.
In my belief, people will never want to spend time to look into my melody of life which is dull and seems uninteresting.
And ever since the day you left me, I kept everything inside me…


Aftermath of exam…
I thought I could enjoy myself to the fullest after exam. But now I couldn’t think of a thing to do. Oh ya, I know I gotta watch Narnia with Vivi, coz’ she loves it soooooooooo much, hope she will wait for me to watch together, hehes. Sis watched it today, and she said it is even nicer than the previous one. It made me really looking forward to it. Then I will have two-days vacation with Sis and Aunt. Too bad that Mum and Dad aren’t going, but still hope to have fun there =].

Pn. Tan really marked the paper so quickly, I have got back the paper just in a few days after the exam. Sigh, not worrying bout the result, but I care more bout things that people will say again next week when I get back to school. I wonder what sort of nonsense they will create again. =.= sooooo boring of it.

A typical Saturday…
I went for tuition as usual. Then I was in front of the Popular Bookstore, I met the three monkeys, and had lunch with them. I need not to pay a single cent again xD xD, thanks a lot larh… Then I getta know how the cheating way during exam actually relates from our class to theirs, and I felt like I am ruining their life again… However I don’t know why I suddenly get so close with three of them, duh… After that, I bought a bag for myself and went back up to the centre to continue tuitioning another subject… Tomorrow after tuition classes, I will be going for shopping as well as a superb meal at Sushi King, yay~ my favourite sushi outlet ever besides Sushi Groove. Then Monday will be another day of shopping since it is holiday~~~ xD xD my shopaholic side is getting wilder again…

Friday, May 16, 2008

Aww… Exam fiesta is almost over, left the last paper on next Tuesday. Finally I can stop rushing to study at night for the subjects on the next day. Do you really think that I am those kind of people who are just simply SMART and can score well WITHOUT studying? If yes that’s what you think, then you must be kidding.

Me: I don’t know how to do lerh for that question/ section/ (whatsoever)
You: Aiya, you don’t so lc larh, you sure score 100 de larh, (with all your bloody nonsense)
Me: ….(what do you expect me to say?)

I couldn’t explain a single thing for I know you will never understand. If there are really people who can be smart without making any effort, don’t you think life will be easier then and I simply need not study a single page right? Please think and re-think before you make any judgement on me. Some people just expect me to give them answers as if that’s my responsibility to bring hp EVERYDAY and send answers to them. If anyone of you ask me politely for the answers, I promise I will give you. I admit, I have had given to some people of the class. They asked for it nicely from me, I don’t mind giving.

But if you are saying that I am lc-ing you with my results or if you yell at me to stop studying when I am revising, then I am sorry, I am pretty sorry to myself for not yelling at you back. =.=” Some people must be saying that I am rude or I am just selfish for not sharing my answers with you. But have you ever think why on earth do I need to give you my answers when I am getting nothing in return other than your scoldings and those nonsense spreading around the school? And I might be caught as well, have you ever think on behalf of me?? Because of the word ‘friend’, I don’t care if you are my close friends or a stranger to me. I still gave you, because I wanted to give at least some help to you. But don’t you think it is too much if you expect me to do it and scold me when I didn’t give as if it is my responsibility? Do you know that there are actually some people on our school who gave his answer to people and people pay him? Of course I won’t be doing such cheap things. But I really don’t hope anyone of you to rely too much on others’ answer because that will not bring any benefit to yourself. It harms you, you know? You just can’t copy all the time. And…Do you know the effort of mine behind? How much did I sacrifice while you were playing and wasting time around all day before exam? And I do hate the actions of certain people who are spreading rumours around that I get bloody good result and all sorts of nonsense. Can you please mind your own business and stop making those freaking fake rumours? If you are cursing me at the moment I refused to give you a single answer, please re-think on your actions and respect me.

I am rude, I know. But you forced me to.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Weee~ the first week of exam had finally passed. And it is only another week left, with those major subjects with Paper 2 and essays. Physics, Biology, Chemistry, History Paper 2, bla bla bla… I knew I didn’t have much time to spend on other aspects, because I am a person who thinks exam is important. I just don’t get why you have been complaining throughout the week, even saying that you didn’t know me anymore.. So what do you mean? I don’t wish to think bout it in this entire week, and do leave me alone on the next week okayyy? Please and thank you.

爱的感觉,总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜,
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担,
你终於不再孤单了,至少有一个人想著你、恋著你,
不论做什么事情,
只要能一起,就是好的,
但是慢慢的,随著彼此的认识愈深,
你开始发现了对方的缺点,
於是问题一个接著一个发生,
你开始烦、累,甚至想要逃避,
但最终的结果又是什么呢?没人会知道~

LOL my blog rating...


This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
xxx (4x) ; fuck (2x) ; shit (1x)

Monday, May 5, 2008

[continue] Exam Fiesta~

6th of May..
a day to skip school when others are having their tough time doing their exams…
Some are having BC exams and some Islam exams…
I didn’t have any exam today—so I stayed at home.
And you must be expecting me to study throughout the day since I have plenty of time at home today. But a big nono, I just couldn’t find myself right in mood to study..
So I ended up sitting in front of the computer again =D.
Aiks..
I am thinking if I can take Accounts exam this time, because it clashes with the Physics exam. Aww..someone told me that we can take the exam after a few days, like on the last day of exam when we only have PJK on the entire day. But the conflict occurs here--- I didn’t dare to take the exam coz’ I am scared I might fail--- I think 60% will fail ba..
So what should I do, I can’t escape till the end of the year right? But I just can’t help…

Sunday, May 4, 2008

A short post on 05 04 2008~

Exam Fiesta~

It’s exam again, starting from this coming Tuesday until the last Tuesday of May before holiday. Aww… Two weeks of exam… What should I say about it? Honestly, I am not prepared for it yet, at least not now. Even if I have time to study or do revision, I would rather spending it online or strolling the streets somewhere. Aiks… I just couldn’t imagine what result would I get for this coming mid-term exam. During Biology tuition class today, I have an instinct that I will fail in Bio. Guess what, I don’t even know how to do the whole thing Leongleong gave us--- I didn’t know how to do, draw, etc… Plus, Leongleong kept asking me to complete the whole exercise on the piece of paper. I was like, how am I going to finish it when I don’t even remember a thing of it? Nevermind ba…it’s the first exam according to the format after all. It is not a big deal right if I really fail with flying colours? LOL I suddenly remembered a quote which KaWah always said --- Fail dengan cemerlang~. Anyway, let’s strive hard for this exam. No matter how is the result, it doesn’t matter as long as we have tried our best right? Hehes, I bet it’s the best way to convince myself that it is not entirely my fault after all..

[[[ I feel bad for being so bad ]]]
{ I knew what does my heart actually thinks, but my mind warns it not to think so }

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Click for More: