31 August, 2018

FiSh's Diary: July & August 2018

When I first stepped into year 2018, I have promised you guys to write more personal posts here this year. So, yeah, here's the second diary update of the year. You can refer to my diary update on first half of 2018 here.

31 August. Now that we are moving towards the remaining 1/3 of the year. At this point when I am typing this, I feel very relieved that August has finally come to an end. July and August 2018 had been a roller coaster ride to me, well I guess nobody likes the feeling of going through those low points in life.

July / August marked the month where I was very upset about life, mainly on family, work and personal fitness journey. Imagine those weekdays, weekends and Public Holidays spent for work purposes, and yet the closest persons in my life were not being supportive. It was the feeling of exhaustion after long working hours combined with constant family pressure that literally killed part of me, bit by bit, each day.

This was the time when I felt I was all alone, helpless and had no choice but to continue walking through the path myself.

It was also during the end of June 2018 when I decided to shed at least 7kg body weight. During the initial stage, I got constantly frustrated for underachieving my weekly goals be it fat percentage target or daily amount of exercise. Soon, I learned that persistence and patience are the two crucial keys in any form of fitness transformation. It would take a lot of time understanding my own body, tuning it to be healthier and fitter over time. "One step at a time, don't rush because it is a long term journey", I told myself this and currently I am satisfied with my current progress so far. 

Everyday I'd get better 

Whenever I wanted to complain about work, I reminded myself not to. Look at people around us, some don't even have a job to begin with. In fact, work pressure is very much acceptable given the typical working environment. While what happens 'outside' is not within our control, I thought home is the safest harbour to be the most original 'me' but unfortunately this is not the case. When it comes to family, it is ultimately the people relationship that I need to learn how to manage wisely. Sometimes, the strongest bond is the most fragile bond in life. Be a good child, meet their expectations and don't go overboard.

I always believe that occasional pressure is good for self-improvement, but without realising, the pressure has been piling up and has then turned into a burden in my heart. It came to a point where I started shutting myself away from people and prefer enjoying "me" time. I was afraid that I'd be like my peers who had jumped into the trap of depression.

Then I picked up a new hobby of reading motivational articles online, which then made me feel mentally comforted. It helped, but not for long. Eventually, those late night tears came back and the days continued with almost sleepless nights.

But, here’s one thing I learn so far:
Whatever happens, happens. Don't stress.

When the negative vibes around me are too much to handle, I often resort to doing things that make me happy - hitting the gym, photoshooting, product styling, and even video editing. Simple things like this could be challenging sometimes, but the result is undoubtedly rewarding to the soul (although lesser to my wallet). It is the unspoken appreciation of my effort that speaks loudest in my heart. And this is something that I have constantly been searching for.

So, what's left for the remaining 1/3 of the year? Again, it is about expectations VS reality. What are you anticipating for the month of September, October and so on?

For me, I am looking forward to the upcoming travel plans. I have been spending significant amount of time doing my research and planning, and just by looking at the pictures and reviews alone, I am already excited for the trips!

Looking forward to flying to these destinations and having fun with people who matter a lot to me. Oh ya, did I forget to mention that November is my birth month already? May this 4th quarter of the year be filled with more happiness, excitement and love.

Now it's time to work harder for my year-end vacation!
….....because travel is the only thing we buy that makes us richer! 

There goes my 800-word long diary which is not something I usually write. It’s boring, yes, but thank you for staying till the very end to read this! Truly appreciate the support from each and every one of you.


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