25 12 2007

Yesterday…
It was a nice thing, spending the short few hours time with them --- although they are people whom I am not familiar with. How I’d wish to have such a great time with all of my buddies + besties too. But…something unpretendable happened…

Honestly, I don’t know whether I am too sensitive or the truth is actually in front of me. I think I could sense something but my heart keeps telling me not to believe it because what I see might not be the truth. I wanna know more bout this but I told myself not to ask him for the details of this kind of sensitive issue. Perhaps he himself does not know about this also. I told myself not to 胡思乱想, but finally I can’t.. The scenes kept flashing back repeatedly in my mind. I wonder if I really should care about such small thing [perhaps it could be something big? Who knows?].

You always say me this say me that, but everything you complained about me…I think it’s related to someone. You always say people must not compare with others, because everyone has the good qualities and bad ones. I hope I am just too sensitive myself and start thinking of stupid things. But sometimes I really hope you or maybe someone could tell me the truth. I heard of too many lies, and I started to hate that. So don’t make me hate you too, I won’t wish to, never…

Today…
I browse through some blogs, reading something that happened to those I care. But coincidently I read through something that I should not. After reading it, I really feel like my heart has torn into pieces. I regretted for reading it, how’d I wish to forget those words that hurt me more than ever. Due to my curiosity, I found out something that I don’t wish to know. I wonder if I don’t know about it forever, is it we will be happy together? Even if I know about it, will it affect the slightest thing? Finally I realised that my 信心 towards myself and you is actually not that high after all.

First love is really that important ma? Keeping in the memory is a good thing but thinking of it most of the time is still a good thing ma? If you really can 放得下, I don’t think such things will still happen. Perhaps to me being bestie is not that way ba, well I am too tired to think of so many things liao. Scold me if you really think that I am too sensitive, I deserve it. I shall let everything sleep before things get worse. Or maybe I shall let go too?

{[泪水是总多么知心的朋友]}