12 February, 2019

5 Changes in Me after Mid-twenties (that you wouldn’t notice)

This post is a self-reflection post before 25 VS after 25.

I notice from the stage of entering adulthood till now, I have grown up a lot within just a few years’ time. Although people say the only constant in life is C H A N G E, I have never felt so much of a change until recently when I talk about it with a friend. I just turned 26 last November, and am already more than half going through my twenties. The most significant change is probably the transition from being a student to a working adult. But no, this is not the ‘change’ that I would like to highlight in this post.

I realise that there are a lot of small changes that I have made in life that help me growing into a better self. These are insignificant changes which actually appear to be more impactful than they seem…

1) Gain Confidence

Being in the social media industry, it is almost unavoidable to constantly seek for validation from the followers so that I can always make sure that they like my contents, my style of writing, etc. But as years pass, I realise people who are off social media are the happier persons on Earth as compared to those who share everything online, because they don’t need the world to agree with them.

For instance, I used to think if I were to cut a new hairstyle or change new hair color, would my followers like it or would I receive any negative comments etc. Or would my other half be supportive if I were to try something new and daring. That was me before 25.

Now, whenever I want to do something, I will just do it by all means because I know I’ll be happy doing this. No permission or validation sought. Because I learn that the best person to tell me what is best for me, is actually myself. Just be confident with myself and do not ever regret for any decision made.

Confidence comes from within, not from anyone else. Practise it.

2) The Right Time is Now

People often tell me, “You’re still young, you still have plenty of time”. I used to think that too, before I hit 25. “There are so many wonderful things awaiting us in life, so it’s okay to take it slowly. I can wait for the right time to do something I want / wait for the best opportunity to come”, I thought.

But recently this hits me as a few of my peers have left the world abruptly, without saying goodbye. Now when I think again, hey I realise I was just so wrong. There is no such thing as ‘the right time’ because the right time is always NOW – at this very point that you are determined to go against all odds – because you’d gotta ‘create’ the right time yourselves.

For instance, friends tell me that they have met the right person but at the wrong time. There are plenty of reasons on why is it the “wrong time” – it could be because they are too occupied with work and therefore not able to dedicate time on relationships. Sounds familiar? What I always wanted to tell them is that, “That means you have not met the right person. It is not the fault of the timing.”

The question should be: Does this person worth your inconvenience, your effort to change your current lifestyle (of being comfortably single) or your time investment? If the person appearing in your mind now is your Mr. Right or Ms. Right, then your heart will know it and you will eventually make little changes in life to make room for another person into your life.

Same goes to any other thing we do everyday. If we are determined to do something although the time is ‘wrong’, we will make it right, by hook or by crook. Opportunities don’t wait, people don’t wait. The Earth is rotating every single second, regardless of whether you remain stagnant within your most comfortable zone.

Stop procrastinating, quit the waiting game. It's now or never.

3) It’s Okay to Say No

The title says it all. I used to be afraid to decline invitations or requests, worrying that I’ll never hear from them again; or afraid to make my own plans just to accommodate others’ schedules. I used to try my best to please everyone, especially during those early years when I was still ‘new’ in the corporate world. As time goes by, I find it increasingly difficult to be a ‘yes-man’.

It’s time to grow up, stay firm and say no where necessary. Always remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation (well, depending on situations. If you have to say no to your boss, make sure you justify), and don’t feel bad for saying no.

4) Learn from Every Single Thing We Do

Learning to me, when I was younger, was all about studying for exams or learning on-the-job. It seems funny when I recall my naive thought of ‘doing my role well’. But we are no longer living in the Stonehenge era, and we should be glad that we have Internet that brings us unlimited resources of knowledge.

I have since then believed that every conversation we have with strangers, every coffee session with friends, every meeting with clients and every place we visit is an opportunity to learn. There are way too many things out there for us to learn apart from those in school or at work. I can learn about anything whether it relates to me or not – technology, cars, history, economy – literally anything. And then put them as topics for conversations with different people. Trust me, people would appreciate learning something they might not know of from you. Imagine practicing such learning habit on a daily basis, I am sure 10 years down the road you’d thank yourself for being knowledgeable and gaining a bigger network too.

Learning is ours. What we learn from cradle to grave belongs to us for life. 
So don’t stop learning and improving.

5) Make Effort to Stay Beautiful

Let’s accept the fact that I am not that young anymore lol. As a beauty blogger, it is part of my job to share about beauty reviews. Year in year out, I try hundreds of skincare and makeup products but frankly I am a lazy person when it comes to skincare. My daily beauty regime used to be only cleanser-toner-cream, until I reach 24-25, I realise how important it is to take good care of the skin since young. I cannot afford to look older than my age LOL especially when my face is constantly slapped with makeups. Now, regardless how tired I am each day, I will make sure that I have cleansed my face thoroughly, apply all the necessary steps and pamper it with mask whenever possible.

Apart from that, I used to be a night owl until 2 years ago, I started to feel ‘old’ and hated all late night events / countdowns / altogether. Currently, I am also trying to maintain the routine of sleeping early and cut down on the caffeine that wakes me up in the middle of the night. Same goes to maintaining a healthy diet. Some of my friends are surprised when I start talking about nutritional values of everything on the table which would probably shock them off. But think about it – if this is not the time to take care of your health yet, then ask yourself when? Let’s do it now before it is too late to regret. Healthier body, healthier mind, healthier me!

Now…take a minute and think how have you changed after hitting 25.
You may be surprised if the most insignificant change actually brings the greatest impact to your life!

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