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13 March, 2008

03 13 2008~

Today is another ordinary day. As I went into the cafĂ©, I ordered a large cappuccino and tried to drink it normally. As if everything’s fine and I am just another ordinary girl walking on the street, out from home for some shopping. But I can’t do it. I just can’t escape from my thoughts. They’re churning round my head, over and over and over. When I come across attractive stuffs in shops, I just have to walk past them. I know I just couldn’t be able to afford to go out again tomorrow. Missing the fun again~ Thinking bout my expenses in these thirteen days, it seems to have shocked myself as well.

And…I just wish to have some quiet space for myself [ONLY myself]. I don’t wish to be disturbed. Why some people just couldn’t get my point?? I wish to tell you that I really need my own space, deep in my thoughts and imaginary. However, I feel like I am ruining us when I talk to you like that. I know you care for me, but that’s not the way. And the reason I felt bit mad yesterday night was I really don’t need such attention from you. However I know I have to care bout your feelings too. I feel I need a break, at least some space for me to breathe in all the air I needed. I have never in my life felt as terrible as I do when I actually did this to you. I love freedom, much more than any other thing I crave for.

[[ God, I am a disaster. I don’t deserve it. ]]

By the way, I have changed this layout, hope you like it...and I have no idea which nice song should I put in to replace this one...

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