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15 February, 2020

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty for Moving Your Loved One in a Nursing Home

Moving a loved one into a nursing home can be an upsetting time. You may feel guilty that you can no longer deal with their needs yourself. However, sometimes a nursing home is the best option for everyone. A nursing home should be providing 24-hour care, nutritious food and lots of activities to socialize and join activities. Seeking professional help might be best for everyone involved.

When choosing a nursing home, take care to choose somewhere suitable for their needs. Take your time and visit different places to see which is best. Some places are eliminating alarms in nursing homes - this might be something you need to watch out for. Alarms are important in ensuring that residents' needs are met and that they are kept safe.


Some people may have a lot of self-doubts and feel some shame towards putting a loved one in a home. However, the best thing you can do is to help them to choose a good home. If you have begun caring for them and it has become too much, then it is time to step back from their care and let the professionals take over. Then you can continue to visit them regularly and begin to enjoy their company again.

Remember, you didn’t cause their illness or decline. Without your love and support, they may be in a worse potion. You have done what you can. Sometimes professional support is necessary for their safety, and perhaps even your safety, or that of your families. It is important that you look after yourself first and don’t burn out when trying to meet the needs of someone else. Take the time to appreciate what you have done and continue to do.

If you have children, you may have been neglecting their needs. Again, you shouldn’t feel guilty about this. Children will adapt to their surroundings. After putting your loved one in a home you can focus on fostering a different relationship. You can encourage your children to want to come and see your loved one in a home, and your child will brighten up everyone’s day in the home. 

You should involve your loved one in the decision as much as possible. Go and visit potential homes together and work with them to make decisions that are best for them. Help them to settle into their new environment by bringing some homely items along and encouraging them to participate in what the home has to offer.

Once your loved one is in a home the responsibility of their care is largely taken out of your hands and you may be able to arrange to do fun things together. You could consider taking them out for the day or bringing in takeaway food occasionally.

Deciding to move someone into a nursing home is difficult. But sometimes the signs are all pointing towards doing just that. Be assured that you should not feel any guilt as it could be what is best for everyone.

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